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Love Me Enough to Hold Me Accountable

Categories Friendship, Sin

Last week I wrote about living life alongside each other by bearing one another’s burdens as we are called to do in Galatians 6:2. This week let’s back up one verse and talk about another way we desperately need each other. 

“Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.” Galatians 6:1

I know what you’re thinking. 
Who am I to criticize someone else’s misconduct? 
I have my hands full dealing with my own sin.  
Calling someone out is self-righteous and judgmental. 
What if they get angry at me?

I get it. The whole idea of approaching a friend about their wrong-doing is uncomfortable. 

Whether we like to admit or not, we are influenced by our secular society where truth is self-defined, morality is subjective, and emotions are often the determining factor of whether something is “good.” But if we truly love our brothers and sisters in Christ, we should want them to experience full fellowship with God unhindered by sin. And we should surround ourselves with fellow believers who love us enough to help us get back on the right path when we stray, despite the awkwardness or perceived risk to our friendship. 

The truth is we don’t like to be bothered by our sin. We are experts at justifying it and that is a dangerous place to live. Brandon Levering, a TGC contributor puts it this way: “There are a thousand reasons we try to make sin less than sinful. Shame causes us to hide it; fear causes us to manage it; selfishness causes us to redefine it; pleasure causes us to desire it; pride causes us to revel in it. But what we don’t realize is that when we minimize sin, we also disparage grace…”

And often, although we are quite adept at identifying short-comings in others, we are blind to our own failings.  It is critical that we have people around us who do not glory in their sin, who hate it, who are fighting it each moment, so that we can grow together and experience the sweetness of living in right relationship with our Lord and King. 

One of my favorite quotes is by Puritan preacher Thomas Watson, “Till sin be bitter, Christ will not be sweet.”

Don’t you want a friend who loves you enough to hold you accountable to your sin? I do! I have asked my friends to call me out when I need it. I want friends who encourage a life of holiness. I want friends who sharpen me and continually point me to Jesus. And I want to be that for them! (This should also apply to our romantic relationships by the way, but that’s a post for another time!)

These three women and I have been friends for 30 years! They have absolutely held me accountable and would not hesitate to do it again. We live in four different states now, but they dropped everything to be with me at my husband’s funeral where this photo was taken. Surround yourself with friends like this!

David Platt sums it up very well: “We need friends who will help us see things to which we are blind. We need friends who will provide constructive criticism for our good. So, let’s be that kind of friend.”