For many, the holidays truly are the most joyous time of the year–expressing gratitude for our blessings, celebrating the ultimate gift of Emmanuel, God with us, and spending precious time with family and friends. But for those who are grieving or alone–whether because of the death of a loved one, a divorce, a betrayal, or other circumstances, the holidays are painful, an unwelcome reminder of what’s been lost.
I’ve been asked advice on facing the holidays when living with loss. And I know when people ask this question, they are looking for something tangible, something practical they can do to feel better. The experts will tell you to give yourself permission to feel your feelings, to embrace new traditions, to lower expectations for yourself during the holidays. None of that is bad advice, but I believe only one thing really soothes our aching hearts–hope.
This Sunday we began the season of Advent by lighting the Prophet’s Candle symbolizing that hope. The prophets looked expectantly for Jesus, the Messiah. And He came! On that first Christmas morning, Mary laid our Savior in a feeding trough and angels sang “Glory to God in the Highest!” He came and taught us that our salvation was through His sacrifice on the cross where He paid the penalty for all our sins. He came and defeated death through His resurrection and now sits at the right hand of our Father until the time appointed for His return.
And so, we wait again.
But we wait again with hope!
Revelation 21:1-5 tells us how the story ends (spoiler alert!): “Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth…and I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, ‘Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be His people, and God Himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away. And He who was seated on the throne said, ‘Behold, I am making all things new.’ ”
Doesn’t that sound so very, very, good? God dwelling with us! No more death. No more tears. No more suffering.
But do you know why that sounds so marvelous? Because we understand pain and mourning and have shed many tears. If we had not experienced all those things, why would we need hope? This world, which has been cursed by sin, is full of sadness and grief and lonely, depressing days. But God has promised us that one day He will set all things right.
Any fellow Tolkien fans out there? (I will forgive you if you’ve only seen the movies and not read the books.)
At the end of The Return of the King, after the ring is destroyed at Mount Doom, Sam Gamgee wakes up surprised to be alive and surprised that Gandalf is also alive. And he declares, “I thought you were dead! But then I thought I was dead myself! Is everything sad going to come untrue? What’s happened to the world?”
Tim Keller provides the answer to this in his book, The Reason for God: “The answer of Christianity to that question is–yes. Everything sad is going to come untrue and it will somehow be greater for having once been broken and lost. Embracing the Christian doctrines of the incarnation and cross brings profound consolation in the face of suffering. The doctrine of the resurrection can instill us with a powerful hope. It promises that we will get the life we most longed for, but it will be an infinitely more glorious world than if there had never been the need for bravery, endurance, sacrifice, or salvation.”
So how do we endure the holidays when we feel nothing like celebrating? Hope! What is hope? The confident and joyful expectation that God is working both now and in the future for my good and His glory. It’s knowing that one day God will set all things right and everything sad will come untrue.