Have you ever been in the middle of a crowd yet felt completely alone? Or, maybe it seems like there is no one else out there like you, no one that really gets you? You have acquaintances but no real connections, no community, no tribe.
One of the struggles I have faced since Mike’s death is figuring out where I fit. I am still the same person, but I am also many things I wasn’t before: single, widow, sole provider/manager of my household, single mom. My definition has changed.
I tried to connect with other widows but most of them were in their 60s or 70s and in a different stage of life. I felt out of place.
I am blessed with amazing friends, but most of them are married. Sitting with a group of married couples with an empty chair beside you can make you feel very alone.
I sought out middle-aged divorced friends, still raising kids, and juggling home and careers, knowing we had some commonalities, but came to understand that while divorce and widowhood do have similarities, the pain of each is very different and still I didn’t completely fit.
I began to wonder if there was anyone else out there like me. And I realized in asking that question I was not…well, alone.
We all crave connection. We all desire to be known. I consider myself a strong, confident, independent person. (Ok, those of you who know me personally are laughing at this understatement, so let me rephrase.) I am VERY independent. I like making the decisions and calling the shots. I have no problems eating at a restaurant or going to a movie alone. I think a quiet, empty house can be bliss. Yet I still have a need to know there is someone who understands me, who is with me, who is my person.
Could Jesus know loneliness? Could Jesus feel out of place? Could Jesus understand not having a connection? At first, I balked at these thoughts. How could the Creator feel out of place in His creation? How could the Son of the Holy Trinity not have a connection? But just as Jesus was fully God, he was also fully human. He had a human body and grew physically. He faced human temptation, physical weakness, hunger. He had human thoughts and human emotions.
Come to think of it, could there have been anyone who felt MORE out of place than Jesus did while He was here on earth? Imagine being equal with God but putting on flesh and coming to earth in the form of a helpless infant?
Imagine being perfect and sinless and hanging out at the synagogue with all the other awkward, hormonal, 12-year-old Jewish boys? (Seriously, y’all, no offense to my male friends, but is there anything weirder than a 12-13-year-old boy?)
Imagine declaring that You are the long-awaited Messiah and teaching that your followers must embrace radical concepts such as being born again, obediently surrendering your life no matter the cost, rejoicing in persecution, and loving your enemies. The Bible tells us that many did not accept who Jesus was and, in his humanness, He must have felt unseen and unknown. He must have often felt out of place.
And then there was the cross…where Jesus took upon Himself every sin that had ever been or ever will be committed. My sin. Your sin. And His own Father turned His face away.
My point is not a theological debate on the dichotomy of the deity and humanness of Jesus. My point is that if you feel out of place, feel like you don’t fit in, feel that you are not accepted for who you are, know that Jesus gets you! 1 Corinthians 8:3 assures us that “…if anyone loves God, He is known by God.” Psalm 139:3 tells us that He is acquainted with all our ways. Jeremiah 1:5 reminds us that God knew us before we were formed. 1 Corinthians 3:23 declares we are Christ’s!! Let us run to Him understanding that He knows us better than we know ourselves. He knows what it is like to feel rejected, alone, and out of place.
We do fit. We do belong, because we belong to Jesus!